Choosing Self-Love | Fearlessly Frank

Dear Girls Everywhere,

This is a letter written in love to every single one of you. I want to formally apologize for all of the times you have seen magazines, internet sites, and most media outlets that have told you, "If you were skinny, you would love your body." This, I am afraid, is completely false. I cannot tell you how many times I have met a girl who looked like the girls on the magazines who could still find something about herself she did not like.

I'm just going to go ahead and rip the Band-Aid right off: Being skinny will not change the way you see your body. 

There is no easy fix to being unhappy when you look in a mirror. Because unlike what magazines tell you, loving your body is all in your head. You can be curvy and love your body, and you can be skinny and hate your body. It is all up to you and the way you choose to look at yourself. I use the word "choose" because it is a mindful decision to love yourself in a society that teaches us that we are never good enough. It is only through mindful choices that we can ever come to love ourselves, no matter what size.

The following list are some of the best ways we at Fearlessly Feminine know to start your self-love journey:

  • Write down three things you love about your body, and add to it every day. You can do this standing in front of a mirror and admiring the specific things you write down, in your favorite clothes or naked, which is much scarier, we know.
  • Start another list that includes things about your personality and your mind. Add to this list daily, as well.
  • Appreciate your own shape, and find clothes that make you feel good, don't just follow trends. You don't have to stick only to clothes made for your specific shape, either. Wear whatever makes YOU happy.
  • Remind yourself that everyone has something they don't like about themselves. Comparison is usually not an ally, but not feeling alone can be helpful.
  • Replace negative thoughts about other people's bodies with positive ones.
  • Stop complimenting other people by putting yourself down. Instead of saying, "I wish I looked like you in that top," just leave it as, "You look great in that top," or even just, "I love your top!"
  • Slow down, take a breath, and remember that no one is perfect, you will have down days where you hate every piece of clothing you put on, and that all of that is normal and totally OKAY.
  • If you need reminders, enlist your best friends as "positive police" and help each other to phrase your words regarding your bodies in a more positive way.
  • If you are still struggling and feel you need more help, seeking professional help is ALWAYS okay, and you should never feel ashamed of getting the help that you need.

All in all, self-love is a never-ending journey, and I know that it can be extremely difficult some days, but it is the most rewarding experience once you start to make progress.

Wishing you health, happiness, and all the love in the world.

Xo, Frank